Messages from the Heart

 
Saturday, August 03, 2002   

Ryan Fury Eulogy       

Hello, my name is Anthony Katsoulas.                            
We come together today to mourn the loss of Ryan Fury, to share the grief we all feel and, perhaps in that sharing, to find the strength to bear our sorrow and the courage to look for the seeds of hope.  I wish to thank you all for coming, your presence here today, your calls, your cards and your prayers, your gentle touch and heartfelt compassion to Ryan's family during this most difficult time has been invaluable. Words cannot express just how much it means, so I give you a simple thank you in the hope that will suffice. Our loss is firstly a profound personal loss to the parents, Ron and Peggy Fury, to members of the Church, to Ryan's Friends and loved ones, and to anyone who was blessed to have come in contact with this remarkable young man.   We grieve for our loss and for our inability to spare each other a pain so deep and so wide that words fail to express its true size. I try to fine a simple word or phrase to make it all better, however I fail. At the request of Ryan's mother Peggy, I wish to play you a message that Ryan left me two days before his accident. I was in Las Vegas and he called my cell phone and left a message, and upon receiving the message I rang him back. If you listen to the energy and excitement and the tone of his voice, you will truly understand a young man who loved life, and loved God. (Tape.)        

My name is Anthony Katsoulas, I am also known as BIG TONY. I met Ryan and his wonderful mother whilst attending Van Mar Academy for Motion Picture and Television for Acting. The director, Ivan Markota introduced me to Ryan and Peggy, and we became very close. You must remember that Ryan was a big boy. I remember one of the ladies asking me what size is my shoe, and I said 14 to 15. She asked Ryan the same thing, he said size 17."Oh my goodness, you both have really big feet," and Ryan replied," Well God could have given us small feet, but then we would probably fall over."   We hit it off right away. As his mother told me later I had become his mentor and hero, which was a lot to live up too. With the permission of Ryan's parents I decided to take him under my wing and I got him a Gym membership. I told him that we would build him a champion's physique, and if he wanted to he could be Mr. America.  At first he thought I was kidding, however when his muscles started popping out everywhere, his confidence grew, and he was on his way. That is why you hear him on the tape saying that he is BIG, BIG, BIG!   We trained together; we played Chess, went to the movies and had a good time like brothers would. At the gym people would ask me who he was, I would proudly say that he was my son, and the normal response would be, obviously he got his looks from his Mum. After hearing that a few times we changed it to Godson, and it saved the insults.  He used to call me his hero, however his real life hero was his father. When we would train, we would push hundreds of pounds of weights, and we would encourage each other, I would call him a beast and a legend after doing so well, however we started Ryan's Dad the beast and the legend and Ryan loved it. Mr. Fury had a shoulder operation; most people would be out for weeks, he would be walking around the next day, thus he was the beast, the legend and truly Superman. Ryan worshipped his Dad; he was the best man on the planet. If there were a best father award Mr. Fury, you would have won it hands down. He adored his mother. As Ryan was concerned she was the coolest, most beautiful mum in the world and he was right. I would call up and say, "Where's beautiful'" and he would answer, "Mum's making dinner." He always knew that his parents did everything for him, as he did for them. Ryan Fury did not become such a fine young man by luck. Remember the apple doesn't fall to far from the tree. Please know that he adored you both.                        

Not many people realize that the death of a child is not in accordance with God's Normal scheme of things. It is unnatural. God did not mean a child to go first. A child buries the parent. Not the parent buries the child. Most people do NOT experience the pain and devastation of the death of a child, and I truly hope no parent will ever feel the death of their child because they don't deserve it. The pain and devastation are indescribable and single persons and even parents will never feel this devastation until they experience losing a child themselves. If you love your child, the death of your child is more painful than the death of any of your loved ones, including your parents. God said, "I'll lend you my child'  "I'll lend you my child for a little time, a child  of mine, He said, For you to love the while he lives, and mourn for the time he's dead. It may be six or seven years. or twenty-two or three. But will you. till I call him back, take care of him for me? He'll bring his charms to gladden you, And shall his stay be brief, you'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief. I cannot promise he will stay, since all from Earth return, But there are lessons taught down there, I want this child to learn. I've looked the world wide over in search for teachers true, and from the throngs that crowd life's lanes, I have selected you. Now will you give him all your love? Nor think the labor in vain? Nor hate me when I come to call, to take him back again? I fancied that I heard you say," Dear Lord it will be done!" "For all the joy your child shall bring, the risk of grief well run. We'll shelter him with tenderness; We'll love him while we may, And for the happiness we've know, forever-grateful stay. But shall the Angels call for him, much sooner than we've planned, We'll brake the bitter grief that comes, and try to understand." I wish to thank God for the time he allowed Ryan to be with me, and with you. The only thing sadder than losing Ryan would be to have never had him in my life. I know that God has other plans for Ryan, but I am selfish, and would do anything to have him back. The hardest thing to say and the hardest thing to accept is he is gone, forever from our lives. I know that the physical form of Ryan is gone but I revel in the knowledge that his spirit will always and forever be with me. Ryan was exceptional in so many ways, a bright, intelligent caring young man. Tomorrow I turn 41 years of age, and I say to everyone, that in those 41 years he was the finest young man I have ever had the privilege to know, and to call my friend and brother. I have never met a finer human being, ever. My children had met Ryan when they were on vacation from Australia. Both my sons nine and twelve loved him and my daughter who is ten had a crush on him. Children and adults gravitated to this young man with a giant heart, and a gentle soul.  I pray that my sons grow up to be like Ryan in any way, and pray that my daughter could one day find a man with the qualities of my friend and brother, Ryan Fury. Ryan had such a big heart, very protective of his family and friends, a wonderful smile and a contagious laughter that touched everyone he came in contact with. I can't really describe it, but those of you who truly him know what I am speaking about. What we say today in only an inadequate expression of what is in our hearts. Words pale in the shadow of grief; they seem insufficient even to measure the many outstanding qualities of this young man we so loved and admired. The best we can do is to remember Ryan, remember him as he lived, bringing life and love and joy to those who knew him and great pride to his family. I know that Ryan is here today, and he is probably laughing at me right now. I was wondering what he would say tome if I could hear his voice, and I have been up for the last 24 hours at my keyboard trying to listen to him. I think he would tell us not to mourn, to celebrate his life, to be happy that he is safe with God. You see for me, Ryan is with me, he is part of my life, now and always. If Ryan was here I am sure he might agree with these words.       

Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am a thousand winds that blow. I am the diamond lints on snow. I am the sunlight on ripened grain. I am the gentle autumn rain. When you awaken in the morning's hush. I am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight, I am the soft stars that shine at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I did not die.   Ryan I love you and you will be with me always.  May God bless all of you and give you comfort in this most difficult time.

Ryan, 
We became members of this great church family together on October 31, 1999. I will never forget the 1st time I met you; you were this tall, big kid with a heart of gold. You and Steve became two peas in a pod. Partners in crime. You just lit up a room when you walked in. Steve would wait patiently (yeah right) for you to walk through the door, then give you two big High 5's and yell DUDE!!, then a great big bear hug. And then there wasn't a week that would go by where you wouldn't have a great big hug for everyone.                         

I was so proud that you called me AUNTIE DONNA, and I am sure that Steve was proud to be your Uncle Steve. We will never forget the special times we spent together. Like the time, after the Ride and Dine last year, doing donuts in the parking lot at Pickwick bowl, and sitting up in your room this year watching the tape of your trip to Denver, and laughing so hard we couldn't breath.    Ron, Peggy, Thank you so much for giving us the opportunity to love and cherish Ryan. We will never forget him, he will always be in our hearts and minds EVERYDAY for the rest of our lives.  We love you so much...... Donna and Steve

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